I need to do or make something this year or just figure out what I want.
I thought I knew what I wanted but then again me thinking that I thought I knew might just probably be the loss of passion that comes with sad episodes you think?
Maybe I should send more poetry in? Or do some short little experimental videos? Or try pick up art again? Or write?
I’ll do a list. A list of simple stuff because I’m a crazy dude B-)
I’ve done the poems at least.
I’m writing but having some pitfalls. I think I just need to do what I did when I was younger and pray and spray my weird tales and then edit them later.
Doing music which is cool but I haven’t finished up working on something in a while.
I need to sort whatever weird anxiety thing I have that I usually log back into tumblr to rant about every 3 weeks or so because it’s preventing me from showing anyone anything and from socialising like a normal human being and I hate it.
A normal sleeping schedule and a wee bit less depression would also be cool for this crazy dude B-)
Jesse Louise, I’m halfway through the year.
I’ve at least got a stablish source of income. Still anxious about my shit but I feel like my mindset has greatly adjusted.
At the start of 2017 I really wanted to just get something into the physical world like a lame song or semi-decent script but I think those things will take more time and ultimately I am okay with that.
I’d rather take time. That being said it’d definitely be cool to try write actual prose or something narrative. It’s been a while and I used to love it. I’ve really been enjoying writing in a diary about my day. I could just spurge like I did when I was a kid. Only issue is I hurt my hand after a while cuz dyspraxia and my brain crashes from not taking a break.
I’ll start typing them soon but I want to fill the copy up and also just enjoy the tactile feel of writing? I’m below average in terms of writing speed but anyway as I probably said some paragraph or two ago ITS THE PROCESS MAAAAYNE.
Sleeping at a normal time would also be swell.
It’s the start of 2018.
Last year I
-read my poetry at two separate events
-performed on stage twice
-made one or two videos for clients
-travelled to The Netherlands 🇳🇱
-found an incredibly supportive partner and made closer connections with friends
-found a new job before Christmas
-started an internship in an amazing film festival
I guess I learned last year to be patient with myself and know that things don’t have to be forced to happen or you don’t need to be super productive to validate your own existence. I’ve gotten over a lot of major blocks in my life in relation to socializing with people and expressing myself artistically. Every time I’ve gotten an ecstatic feeling from reading a poem out or performing onstage or the joy in videoing or editing something I’ve just thought….”life should be like this?”
I hope that 2018 is the year I realize that life can be like this.
“Low self esteem is like going through life with the hand-brake on.”
🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Someone captioned this quote on a photo on insta and now I’m #inspired
Battle, a song by Blur on Spotify →
I thought they were singing October but they are actually singing “battle someone”?
